#reverb16//14//Personality

Personality.  Has this busy and festive month got all the Introverts like…  wah!  And all the extroverts like…  yeah!  Tell us how your personality enhances or takes away from the current mood.  What are your strategies to deal?

I am generally a “More the Merrier” kind of gal. I have always enjoyed being around people and I thrive on the energy of the group. It’s why I was far less fulfilled by personal training than I am by group fitness. It’s why my home was the go-to for gatherings for years. I liked to entertain and I liked to be around people.

This year has been different, though. I have been much more introspective and private. I have prioritized my marriage and my family over friends, the gym, and social activities.

img_7529

It was very intentional at the beginning of the year – coming off #reverb15 and having taken the time to consider what was most important to me as well as what needed the most attention made me pretty laser-focused for a while.

As the year went on, it was far less intentional and just more…natural. I outgrew a small amount of my overwhelming need to be accepted and needed and liked by the group – any group – and I have many of them.

At work: I finally recognized my bosses were never going to respect or accept me, let alone like me and so I found a new job – a new career, in fact – and have been reveling in the “fresh start” and appreciation I feel here.

At the gym: I finally stopped feeling solely responsible for the success of BodyJam at XSport and I stopped feeling solely responsible for covering every class, regardless of format, that needed a sub. This has gone over with mixed reviews, but I have never been more sure of a decision in my life so…I’m ok with that.

In my circle of friends: I finally prioritized my needs (and this year there have been many) over just trying to please everyone. That has also gone over with mixed reviews, of course, as I am sure it seems I have done a 180 by closing my usually VERY open book of a life and hunkering down to work on and take care of…me. It’s uncomfortable still, even writing it. It still feels very selfish at times and I struggle almost daily with finding balance between self-care and nurturing friendships. There are a few times in life when this focus on self cannot be avoided and I am smack dab in the middle of that right now. I hope my circle will give me grace as I work through this difficult time. I love them all…

group

In 2016, I found myself drawn more to one v one interaction than I ever have been before. I craved private time with Mark. I focused on a few individual friendships and noticed a big difference in the closeness that created. It wasn’t a conscious choice. It just seemed be be what I needed most. I have well documented trouble with appropriately leveled responses to things. My pendulum swings and it swings BIG. 

 

So I think it is fair to say that I have probably over-corrected yet again in the “closing my big, open, book of a life.” That 180 I did on the groups in my life was a left turn from where I naturally thrive. I hope 2017 helps me center myself again and I can find that balance of personal time while still involving myself in all of my energy source…my groups.

I’ve been so tired…all year…it’s really no wonder why…

blessed-are-those

One thought on “#reverb16//14//Personality”

  1. Your last blog showed how very much you are like me. This one shows how very different we are. I LOVE “alone time”. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy being with friends too. However, I need me time. This is why I question the constant use of cell phones and Facebook. Sure you know what your friends are doing at all times (well maybe not ALL) but how much do you know about you. Alone, quiet times are when you can be more introspective and get to know who you are, what’s important to you, where do your values lie, where will you put your energies and how you’ll make time for what is truly important in life. Is this too long? Anyway, that’s what I wish I could give you this Christmas, alone time.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s